Tuesday, May 5, 2009

You Are What You Wear

In a simultaneous Last to Blame-first of posting color photographs as well as a admission and expression of my geek love of video games, I would like to share with you my new purchase: a Parappa the Rapper t-shirt. If you've always doubted my coolness/ability to geek out, well here's proof - in full color!

This is the t-shirt as worn by its proud owner.

This is the inside lapel.

This is the back, near the neck. I have no idea who these faces are. They're happy and are ready to rap, fer shizzle.

This is a close up of the decal.

Not a big deal, admittedly - unless you're a big video game geek who wants to buy one of these cool bad boys. As reported on Kotaku, the Japanese chain "Uniqlo" is selling a line of t-shirts inspired by many video games, both classic and current. I bought this one here in Shanghai, and even though I've never been blessed with the experience of playing Parappa the Rapper (PS2's cultishly popular and trend-setting rhythm game about a rapping dog, yo) this was by far the coolest t-shirt there.

I don't want a Pac-Man maze on my chest. I believe in subtlety, wherein lies the oft-neglected trait of having taste and being fashionable (I live in Shanghai, if that wasn't already clear). Further rejected t-shirt include a Pac-Man polo-style shirt with the yellow block of cheese about to chomp on the power pellet that is your nipple; also, Bomberman and Dig Dug shirts done up very retro and 8-bit craft glory you've seen in retro video game stitchwork as featured on Etsy.com.

There was a Resident Evil 5 shirt that had a B.S.A.A. crest on it. On the back it had the acronym spelt out, but I didn't think it was stylish enough, though it was definitely nerdy enough. Not seen but I would have gotten: a bad-ass MegaMan shirt with the little blue guy posing with the MegaBuster poised at the ready, and a Street Fighter shirt with "HADOUKEN!" emblazoned across the front, proving your bad-assery to would-be challengers to your masculinity and pride. That's right: I would so fireball you if you messed with me or my girl.

This is the tag that came with the shirt. My camera has awesome clarity; the tag uses the video game graphics of the time so it looks crappy on purpose.

One of the reasons I started Last to Blame was an outlet for the many opinions I have about video games that I drive my girlfriend crazy talking about all the time. Another reason is a foray into the interest I have in getting into video game journalism. However, since I've started this blog I haven't gotten the proper respect other "journalists" have received - namely, swag. Free stuff. Gimmie gimmie.

So, attention all you people with things: send it here, to Last to Blame, and let me analyze it. Don't make me go spend another 99 yuan (around 15 USD) on another shirt.

In the meantime, here are some Parappa the Rapper lyrics to tide you over:

"In the rain or in the snow... got the got the funky flow (repeat)"

Also: "The skunk over here will bring you luck/The pump over here comes with a truck"

Wow. 1996 was so advanced. Those are some dope rhymes. And what are we doing now? Playing on plastic instruments, with plastic instrument superstars going on TV to play a game that is about faking musical performances? At least punk bands play music and sing songs; nowadays kids don't even play music, and songs don't even have any singing in them.

More shirts will be posted as I buy them.

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